


It Gets to Him

by 60r3d0m



Series: Season 12 Coda Collection [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel in the Bunker, Dean is an Embarrassment, Episode: s12e10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets, Everybody Wants Castiel, Jealous Dean Winchester, M/M, Mutual Pining, Possessive Dean, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam Knows, Season/Series 12, Sexual Tension, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 03:03:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9579590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/60r3d0m/pseuds/60r3d0m
Summary: So maybe Dean’s a little impatient when he decides to burst into that diner (even though Cas told him no), and maybe he’s a little aggressive with his puffed up chest when he flings open the door (okay, yeah, the waitress definitely eyes him warily) and hell, maybe when he says, “Feel a little left out over there—scoot over,” he’s maybe a little too enthusiastic when he shoves into the booth next to Cas (and kind of sits in his lap), but whatever the hell he does, it definitely doesn’t give Sam the goddamn right to pull him aside with a glare and say, “Maybe you wanna be a little less alpha male right now, Dean, and focus on the case?”The fuck—no one knows how to focus on a case better than Dean Winchester.But yeah, maybe Dean can’t help but swallow a little nervously when Sam says that.Because it gets to him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Once again writing beyond the grave (R.I.P. Me) as this ep. killed me :') Here's another coda for 12.10, less angsty than my other one. I know I shouldn't, but I totally wanna write another one...

So maybe Dean’s a little impatient when he decides to burst into that diner (even though Cas told him no), and maybe he’s a little aggressive with his puffed up chest when he flings open the door (okay, yeah, the waitress definitely eyes him warily) and hell, maybe when he says, “Feel a little left out over there—scoot over,” he’s maybe a little too enthusiastic when he shoves into the booth next to Cas (and kind of sits in his lap), but whatever the hell he does, it definitely doesn’t give Sam the goddamn right to pull him aside with a glare and say, “Maybe you wanna be a little less alpha male right now, Dean, and focus on the case?”

The fuck—no one knows how to focus on a case better than Dean Winchester.

But yeah, maybe Dean can’t help but swallow a little nervously when Sam says that.

Because it gets to him.

 

 

 

 

It freaks him out when Sam says it. It freaks him out because it implies a little something—something about the way that he feels around Cas, and there’s something uneasy, something that stirs in the pit of his stomach when Sam notices it. He tries to brush it off. He rolls his eyes at Sam, thumps him on the back and pretends that what Sam’s said doesn’t mean a damn well anything, but none of it matters, because in the end…it gets to him (it makes him force himself to stop wanting).

But he can’t get himself to stop his behaviour.

Cas doesn’t notice it. Or at least he doesn’t seem to. He doesn’t notice the way that Dean sometimes pushes Cas behind himself—the way that Dean just has this instinct to cover Cas with his body, whenever a gun’s pointed in the angel’s direction, whenever someone dares make a threat to the angel’s life. Hell, when that happens, Dean doesn’t know what comes over him. He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly trying to make himself bigger, trying to redirect those damn insults to himself and away from Cas, because they’re hunters, and insults are just a part of the trade (and Cas probably knows that).

But it’s Sam’s glance at him every time that it happens that makes Dean’s heart skip a beat, makes his hands clammy and makes him feel anxious; it gets to him (it’s a goddamn warning to keep himself from Cas).

 

 

 

 

They bicker a lot. Lately, it’s just what Cas and him do. Dean knows that his anger’s misdirected. He knows that Cas was just trying to save his ass when Cas decided to stick it to Billie, but cosmic consequences—they scare him. He’s sick of cosmic consequences. He’s even sicker when Cas is the one who might have to face them.

“Yeah, you know what I like about him is that he’s sarcastic but he’s thoughtful and appreciative, too.”

Dean doesn’t know what it is about that—about Cas’ boasting statement—that makes the anxiety in Dean’s blood boil over, that makes his fingers twitch and makes him crane his neck to look back at Cas and demand, “What’s that supposed to mean?” and what makes him lose control of his car. But the feeling’s the same. The feeling’s the same when Cas praises Benjamin, as if someone’s holding a knife up to Cas’ throat right in that moment, and it evokes Dean’s goddamned reaction—it evokes his need to make sure Cas is safe and behind him where Dean can take the blows for him even if Dean knows Cas _is_ safe and just irritated.

But it’s Sam’s knowing look that always fucking gets to him.

 

 

 

 

It starts slipping into other things—his behaviour. He even becomes aware of it, maybe even before Sam knows it, because now there’ll be a thought crossing his mind before he acts, and it’ll whisper _Don’t_ over and over even though he’ll always push it aside.

The first time it happens, he holds himself back. They’re down at a secret base with the British Men of Letters—he, Sam, and Cas—and even Crowley and Rowena are deliberating on a plan (Lucifer’s still alive and kicking). It happens when he notices the way that those two men look at Cas—Ketch and Mick—the way that their eyes seem to slide over Cas’ body, the way that they lick their goddamn lips and exchange glances with each other as if they’ve got a plan and it involves an angel and sharing and a fucking bed. It sets fire to an itch beneath Dean’s skin. It makes him tense enough that Sam shoots him a look, a look that follows Dean’s murderous gaze at those British Men of Letters, but Dean’s good enough at holding himself back that Sam dismisses it as Dean’s contempt for anything that resembles Crowley’s accent.

 

 

 

 

The days go by. They stay down in that secret base long enough that Dean’s itch seems to spread to Sam, who starts walking uneasily back and forth, sick of this foreign bunker, who doesn’t seem to know that their itches just aren’t the same.

But in the end, it always gets to him.

Sam starts noticing it, the way that Dean’s hyper-focused on Cas, always watching Cas’ back, watching his interactions with Ketch, with his interested smile, and Mick, who keeps calling Cas “Angel” even though, “It’s Castiel to you, you douchebag,” Dean snarls, before Cas can even get a word out. Sam always seems to be watching Dean just as vigilantly as Dean seems to be devoted to watching Cas’ ass (and anyone who might be checking it out).

It gets to him so he holds himself back.

But he can’t do it for long.  

He can’t bite his tongue, even when there’s a mantra of _Don’t, Don’t_ in his head. He finds his feet working for him. He finds himself sauntering over to the map that Cas and Mick and fucking Ketch are absorbed in, finds himself walking right up to Cas, finds himself bumping their hips together, swinging an arm around Cas’ back and saying, “How’s my angel doing?”

Maybe he’s even a little mortified at his behaviour. Maybe he knows he’s a goddamn embarrassment, but he can’t help it. He keeps finding his lips twisting into a smug smirk, finds himself tightening his fingers on Cas’ back and maybe he’s issuing a challenge, a silent challenge that Mick and Ketch seem to understand.

And then Cas looks at him. Cas turns and looks at him, and there’s maybe a little itch under Cas’ skin, too, because Cas’ eyes are intense and they’re focused on Dean’s lips, trailing down his neck and they make Dean feel like he’s burning under Cas’ fierce scrutiny.

He swallows; it gets to him.

It gets to him in a whole new way.

 

 

 

 

He keeps doing it. He can’t help himself. He keeps walking up to Cas, keeps finding reasons to touch him. Maybe he gets a little impulsive—hell, he does—when he starts coming up behind Cas, starts pressing himself up from behind just to murmur meaningless messages into Cas’ ear, things like “Sam’s got a lead” and “Freakin’ Crowley’s getting on my nerves,” but he’ll find himself using his lowest voice, find himself speaking dark and deep and wanting as Mick and Ketch look on.

Sam looks, too.

Or maybe everyone in the whole room knows by now.

Maybe they know how to get to him. Maybe they know that he’s not good enough for Cas.

 

 

 

 

There’s something about Cas that changes, one month into them living in the cramped quarters of the British Men of Letter’s bunker. Maybe it’s Dean imagination. But it’s the way that Cas starts to look at them—Mick, Ketch. The way that he’ll smile at them, a way that’ll reignite the itch in Dean all over again, the way that the need to flank Cas from every side will rear up, the need to keep touching, touching in ways that maybe aren’t so innocent, just to keep the itch at bay.

It seems to amuse Cas.

It seems to make Cas look at Dean with darker eyes, with possessive eyes that seem to want to stoke the fire in Dean’s reactions, Dean’s urges. It’ll make Dean swallow, it’ll make Dean hot between his legs, and Cas’ll seem to provoke Dean, make Dean too bold. It’ll make Dean press up against Cas with Ketch and Mick in full view and it’ll make Dean whisper in Cas’ ear, a deep growled, “I don’t like the way that you look at them.”

Cas’ heavy breathing in that moment seems to get to him.

 

 

 

 

It’s a kind of downwards spiral. It’s him and it’s everything that he’s been denying himself for years. It all gets to him. It all reminds him—Sam’s knowing expression, his own needy touches, Cas’ wanting eyes—that he’s crossing a line, crossing into a place that he’s promised himself that he won’t touch because he ruins everything. He knows it.

All of it, all of it. All of it gets to him.

 

 

 

 

There’s something sweet about it.

There’s something in him that makes him crawl over to Cas’ prone form even though he’s bleeding out fast himself, even though they’re finally facing Lucifer, even though Sam and Crowley are now in the devil’s way. It’s there when Sam and Crowley are unconscious. It’s there when it looks like they’re going to lose. It’s there when Lucifer stalks up to Dean, Dean who’s crawled over Cas’ body, who’s straddling him and who’s holding Cas’ face in his hands and begging him to look at Dean, for god’s sake, just to look at him because Cas’ eyes are unfocused, and there aren’t anymore _Don’ts_ chanting inside of Dean’s mind. Nothing’s getting to him anymore, nothing that makes him want to hold back. He knows if he stays, then at least they’ll die together.

 

 

 

 

It doesn’t get to him. It doesn’t get to him when the fight’s over and Rowena’s well-timed spell saves the day. He lets himself fuss over Cas’ wounds, wounds that are rapidly healing to Cas’ exasperation, wounds that are nothing compared to Dean’s. He doesn’t let it get to him when Cas sticks his hand up his shirt, when Dean shivers as Cas’ grace heals him, when he shivers when Cas strokes the skin there a few times even though Dean’s all healed up.

 

 

 

 

It doesn’t get to him when they’re back at that secret base, the small, small cold bunker with its cramped 4 x 9 rooms with military beds. It doesn’t get to him when he goes there, to his assigned space, and finds Cas sitting on the edge of the mattress, the single light bulb swinging slightly above Cas’ head like a strange halo, Cas in nothing but his shirt and pants.

Dean walks slowly, takes those few steps before he finds himself standing between Cas’ parted legs, Cas’ hands coming to rest on his hips.

Cas’ eyes are dark, unreadable, when he pushes Dean down until Dean’s kneeling on the floor before him.

Something makes Dean close his eyes when Cas brushes his finger across Dean’s temple, when Cas starts moving forward, his hot mouth, his lips almost closing the distance between Dean’s own, hovering near but not kissing yet.

Maybe he’s waiting to see if it gets to Dean before he touches him.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that's it! Thank you very much for reading and of course, comments and kudos are always appreciated if you've got the time. Other than that, if you'd like, you can visit me on Tumblr [here](http://60r3d0m.tumblr.com) :)


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